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Humor Joke 幽默笑话

中国日报网英语点津为您精选语言地道的英语笑话,开心学英语。

愿望

2009-02-16 09:20
“Have any of your childhood hopes been realized?” “Yes. When mother used to pull my hair I wished that I didn’t have any.”

会错意

2009-02-13 09:22
A person went into a restaurant. He ordered coffee and bread. When the waitress gave him the cup of coffee, he started to put in sugar and milk.

完全正确

2009-02-12 09:58
Teacher: Jimmy, what are the three words which pupils use most often at school? Jimmy: I don't know... Teacher: Correct.

你认识她比我久

2009-02-11 09:14
Two little boys wanted to ask a favor of their mother. "You ask her," said Paul, age ten. "No," said Roy

礼貌行事

2009-02-10 09:49
One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.

迟到的原因

2009-02-09 09:07
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."

聪明的承诺

2009-02-06 09:50
The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness. Once you give somebody a promise, you must carry it out no matter what will happen.

同样的服务

2009-02-05 09:22
A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor.

如果我是经理

2009-02-04 09:45
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – If I Am a Manager. All the students began to write except a boy.

我在哪儿

2009-02-03 09:55
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer

可能是你造成的

2009-02-02 09:57
A very thin man met a very fat man in the hotel lobby. "From your looks," said the fat man, "there might have been a famine."

死后重生

2009-02-01 09:44
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.

你怎么到这的

2009-01-30 08:56
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."

礼物

2009-01-28 08:36
Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? Mom: No, Honey, what?

不给傻瓜让路

2009-01-24 09:00
Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him.

为什么迟到

2009-01-23 09:25
Teacher: Why are you late for school every morning? Tom: Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".

那就更糟了

2009-01-22 10:24
Policeman: Why didn''t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? Man: If I had opened my mouth, they''d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

最低分

2009-01-21 09:51
"Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don''t think I deserve a zero." "Neither do I. But that''s the lowest grade I''m allowed to give."

现在我们跑吧

2009-01-20 09:23
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.

老虎来了

2009-01-19 09:26
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.

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