Volunteer old uncles and aunties are making peace in one Hangzhou neighborhood, resolving quarrels among neighbors, sorting out mother-in-law problems and telling husbands to pitch in with the housework.

Wu Minqiang (second from left), vice chairman of the Peacemakers Association, with other problem solvers in Henandai Community, Yuhang District.

They also remind old folks to take walks for their health and patrol the neighborhood.

These 22 problem solvers - lao niang jiu or old uncles - belong to the Peacemakers Association in Henandai Community, Nanyuan Subdistrict, Yuhang District.

The district's first mediation team, a pilot project, was formed last August to resolve residential problems of all kinds - possible thefts, disputes with contractors, barking dogs - and patrol the community day and night. They pick up garbage, maintain sanitation and remind people to close doors and windows and shut off gas and electricity at night.

The old uncles (including 10 aunties) are long-time residents who are respected and trusted. They are mostly retired cadres and professionals, including teachers. The average age is 62. They work without pay.

Following their example, many other residential areas have set up peace maker, mediation and sanitation teams.

So far, the team in Henandai Community has resolved what they consider 13 major disputes, mostly neighbor and family quarrels.

One case that required special wisdom and tact involved a dispute between residents and contractors renovating a parking area. Four apartment dwellers complained that five electric bikes were stolen because of the construction disorder. They blamed the contractors and demanded compensation.

The workers rejected the charge, saying their job was to renovate, not to keep the area clean. Since they didn't steal the bikes, they would not bear responsibility.

The four angry residents and supporters gathered in the construction team office. The dispute threatened to spiral out of control and get physical.

The old uncles were called in to solve the problem fairly and without commotion. They investigated and found the construction team renovated the old parking area without notifying residents in advance so they could park their vehicles elsewhere in a safe place. Since the place was a mess, it was easy for thieves to slip in. Thus, the contractor's negligence was to blame and the team was responsible.

Those whose vehicles were stolen were required to present receipts for purchase of the vehicles and depreciation was calculated. Final compensation ranged form 500-2,000 yuan (US$73-US$293). Everyone who lost a vehicle signed an agreement and quit-claim. The contractor paid.

Most of the old uncles' problems are disputes among neighbors and family problems, such as conflicts between a wife and mother-in-law, between spouses, between parents and children.

These problems, though small, can be difficult and intractable. Relations within a family and among neighbors can be poisoned and bad feelings can spread.

Experience counts

"Grassroots power and moral suasion, rather than police efforts, are more effective in resolving conflicts among people," says Xu Jianfen, director of the Department of Justice of Nanyuan Street. "Local elders have credibility that others lack."

The nickname, "old uncle," has its roots in folk culture. Traditionally married women live with their husbands and their husbands' families, so if a spousal or other family problem arose, the wife would be isolated, without the help of her own family members.

In this situation, the woman's brother, the children's uncle, often stepped in as an authoritative (male) and relatively objective mediator. Males, of course, were considered superior to females and their wills prevailed.

These modern uncles don't solve problems through gender priority but through experience, knowledge and tact.

Wu Minqiang. vice chairman of the Peacemakers Association, is an instructor in marriage and family relations. He often deals with common conflicts between a wife and her mother-in-law.

The problem as he sees it stems from a psychological imbalance: Mothers traditionally think of their sons as part of their own family, while wives/daughters-in-law are still considered outsiders. The wife, too, tends to consider her mother-in-law as alien to the new couple.

The best approach is to promote mutual respect by encouraging each other to explain their positions and listen to the other woman, says Wu. Ideally, the mother-in-law should treat the wife as her own daughter, and the wife in turn should consider her mother-in-law as her real mother.

Mother-in-law, father-in-law, wife, husband and children should always speak courteously to each other, and a gentle tone can influence the next generation to be more polite, he says.

Furthermore, the husband should take the initiative and do more housework as many family quarrels arise because overworked wives say, justifiably, "You never do housework."

Dispute resolution is only part of the job of peace-making volunteers. Their daily routine includes maintaining sanitation during the day, patrolling to remind residents to be alert and prevent theft and fire, and to remind elderly people to take their daily walk between 7pm and 9pm.

Three volunteers are on duty in three shifts a day. They are equipped with tongs for picking up garbage, a big reusable bag, scrapers for cleaning surfaces, loudspeakers to tell residents to show windows and doors and turn off electricity and gas. They use flashlights at night to check residential buildings while they are on anti-theft patrol.

"I meet them every morning and hear their loud speaker every evening; if one day I didn't see or hear them I would be worried," says one resident. "The community is much safer because of old uncles."

Editor: Xie Fang

Source: Shanghai Daily