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张明权 |
参考译文:
More auto buy against the rule assessment
The traffic congestion index in September rises by 10.3% year on year in accordance with the monthly traffic report issued by Beijing Municipal Commission of Transport. The report also points to the exploration scheduled 2013 into measures to keep smooth traffic in Beijing. The research highlights further promotion of flexible and staggered working hours and assessment of the feasibility of carrying out the odd-and-even license plate rule during specific periods and/or within specific areas. If these measures being evaluated are adopted, stricter restrictions will be imposed on vehicles herein as compared with the current regulation based on the last number of a license plate.
小词大用是一种非常实际的翻译策略,以本译题中的标题翻译为例,介词against的使用可谓得心应手,原本想了很长的一个题目,后来由于用了against这个介词,一下子就凸现了两个事件之间的逻辑关系,把实行更严格的限行措施与购车增长之间的不期而遇很好地对照起来,很明确地表达出来,一点也不显得拖泥带水。小词的使用还包括因应简明英语运动,对口语词汇的使用,本译题虽涉及交通法规修订的法律问题,但仍不妨使用一些口语化的小词,如rise,point to等词,当然为了平衡语言使用,我在翻译的时候也使用了一些大词,比如in accordance to, highlight, imposed等,这样配合使用才能体现英语词汇使用的多样性。下面选取一篇网友的译文进行点评:
Yesterday, the city's traffic committee published its September Traffic Congestion Report. The congestion index is 10.3% higher compared with the same period of last year. It also said the city will launch the 2013 research of measures for good traffic.The research will focus on promoting flexible work options, work schedules that can help people get around each other's commuting hours, along with the plausibility of an even-odd license plate plan for certain periods of time in a day at certain areas, which,if getting passed by assesment, will be a stricter policy than the existing one.
第一句话中,the city’s traffic committee应明确译为Beijing Municipal Commission of Transport,这是外宣翻译所要求的。第二句犯了一个最常见的比较错误,compared with the same period of last year中的with后面应加上that of以使比较的对象相同。第三句research后面的介词of应改为into。第三句很长,其中if getting passed by assessment中的语态有错误,可以去掉getting一词。最后需要指出的是,关于尾号限行的问题漏译了。
我们感觉在国内的情况是世界原本是有路的,走的人多了也就没路,在这儿狂堵,但是没想到还有那么多的中国人去刺激了外需,也就是肥水都流了外人田了。
参考译文:
Chinese tourists are wooed overseas in the Golden Week
I didn’t expect to see so many Chinese tourists pouring abroad to boost the foreign economy for free, though China boasts the traffic congestion that drives at the parody (on a quote from Lu Xun, a celebrated Chinese writer in the 20th century) that “For actually the earth had many roads to begin with, but when too many men pass one way, a road is blocked”.
Posters in Chinese characters saying “foie gras” and “delicious chocolate” are seen on the wall of a small shop in Paris. What amuses me most is that a staring slogan in Chinese saying that “Diaoyu Island belongs to China!” is hung outside a department store in Venice, Italy to cater to the patriotism of Chinese tourists. This certainly should be listed as a contribution that Chinese tourists have made to the cause of the international publicity of China. Besides stating the fact, the slogan in defiance of the Japanese concern is written conspicuously to attract the Chinese tourists who enjoy an overwhelming superiority to other tourists in population and potential of consumption.
本译题中的“世界原本是有路的,走的人多了也就没路”明显是对鲁迅小说《故乡》最后的一段文字“世界上本没有路,走的人多了,便成了路”的仿拟(parody)。仿拟是一种非常独特的修辞手段,“它有意仿照人们熟知的现成的语言材料,根据表达的需要临时创造出新的语、句、篇来,以使语言生动活泼,或讽刺嘲弄,或幽默诙谐,妙趣盎然。(百度百科)” 例如:
Modern journalism justifies its own existence by the great Darwinian principle of the survival of the vulgarest. ——Oscar Wilde
现代的新闻工作,以“最庸俗者生存”的伟大的达尔文式的原则来为自己的存在辩护。
王尔德的名言所提到的the survival of the vulgarest就是对达尔文生物进化论原则the survival of the fittest的仿拟。
那么这里对鲁迅名言的仿拟改如何翻译为好呢?鲁迅原句是这样翻译的:(It is just like roads across the earth.) For actually the earth had no roads to begin with, but when many men pass one way, a road is made. 那么我们仿一下大概可以说:For actually the earth had many roads to begin with, but when too many men pass one way, a road is blocked. 但问题是英语读者不可能知道这句话是对鲁迅文字的仿拟,所以必须在译文中加入适当的解释。
再者这段文字整体上采取了幽默的口吻来叙述作者在海外的所见所闻,所以在翻译时应注意使用此类措辞,请注意参考译文中boost, boast, contribution等词所包含的隐含意义。下面选取一段网友的译文点评:
There is one of the groceries in Pairs, France showing placards in Chinese version, such as “鹅肝酱”(goose liver paste)、“朱古力好吃”(delicious chocolates). And interestingly, as the surging of Chinese visitors, the policy of territorial integrity in China is getting far-reaching around the world. For catching the eyes of Chinese tourists, a bold headline of “钓鱼岛是中国的!”(Diaoyu Island belongs to China) is showed strikingly outside one of the department stores of Venice, Italy. In fact, the foreign department of such kinds, ignoring of the feeling of Japanese travelers, tended to increase their earnings in similar ways. Therefore, it was demonstrated that the Chinese travelers are comparatively overwhelming in their purchasing and proportion.
第一句中,one of the groceries应该改为a grocery, 因为这里并没有限定一个范围;in Chinese version不够具体,应为Chinese characters。第二句as the surging of Chinese visitors中的as明显应改为with。第三句中for catching the eyes应改为to catch the eyes,headline是新闻标题的意思,挂在店外面的应该是横幅(banner)或口号(slogan); one of the department stores犯了和第一句一样的错误。第四句用department代替department store是错误的,如果有store倒是可以的,因为后者是上一词,以属差代替整词的情况不是没有,但一定要遵循语言的使用习惯。最后一句用被动语态,割断了和上一句的联系,应改为主动语态,all these phenomena showed that…,以衔接上文的事件。
Blissful vexation visits Mo Yan the Nobel Prize winner
Even before winning the Nobel Prize in Literature, Mo Yan, one of the most famous modern writers, had already been ridden by “troubles” of all kinds. Since his name topped the odds list of a lottery firm, rumors spread that he had bribed members of the Nobel Prize Committee, and he had repeatedly been entreated by reporters to voice his opinion about the Nobel Prize. A person to have kept a low profile, Mo Yan went back to his hometown in Shandong to “shun the spotlight”. After he won the Nobel Prize, he began to suffer from the so-called blissful vexation.
When interviewed by Dong Qian from CCTV to answer the question of “Are you happy?”, Mo Yan gave the simple answer of “I don’t know”. To him, happiness consists in clearing everything out of one’s mind, having nothing to care about, keeping a sound health, and shaking off all spiritual burdens. “When I am heavily burdened by my fame, how can I say I am happy? But as one of this year’s Nobel Prize winners, how dare I pretend to say I am not happy at all?”
这段文字中比较难翻译的是所谓的矛盾修辞法。矛盾修辞法(Oxymoron)用两种不相调和,甚至截然相反的词语来形容一件事物,起到一种强烈的修辞效果,使得所表达的语义更强烈(百度百科)。网友对文中的“幸福式烦恼”给出的译文包括:happy problems, the "troubles' as well as "happiness" at the same time, the annoying question of "are you happy?", happy troubles, the dilemma between happy and unhappy, happy style of annoy, the problem of happiness, etc. 根据矛盾修辞法的一般组合方式,最好采用形容词修饰名词的方式来翻译,比如happy worry,但如果从翻译学的角度,采用解释性也无不可。下面选取一段文字做具体点评:
Mo Yan, a Chinese writer,was overwhelmed by troubles before the 2012 Nobel Literature Prize was conferred on him.Topping the list of the lotter firm in terms of the losing rate, Mo Yan was once rumoured to offer bribe to the Nobel panel of judges and later was inquired by the press of his opinion of the Nobel Prize. As one who keeps a low profile consistently, he went back to his hometown in Shangdong decidedly for a solitude. Having received the Nobel Prize ,he even fell into the grip of the happy troubles.
第一句中的时态有点问题,既然是在什么之前,就应该用过去完成时。第二句中losing rate不是赔率的意思,赔率是odds;offer的时态应该为完成时,否则无法表示莫言被怀疑贿赂发生的时间,inquire的句型使用错误,因为这个词所涉及的句型是inquire sth of sb.。第三句中decidedly for a solitude不符合文中“躲清静”的原意,因为这里强调的主要是免受打扰,而非获取清静本身。
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专家简介:
张明权,安徽省固镇县人,江苏大学外国语学院副教授,英语语言文学硕士,上外博士课程班进修。主要从事英语语言学和翻译学研究,在国内外学术期刊发表论文10余篇,出版译著两部,发表其他文章20余篇,有大量翻译实践经验,翻译总字数接近200万。Email: mqzhang@ujs.edu.cn。
(作者:张明权 中国日报网英语点津 编辑:Julie)