Dear Dinah, 

I’m an only child of a Beijing family. I’ll admit, I was a bit spoiled by my parents. When I was pregnant I was the center of attention for my parents and husband, but now our son is here I feel like I’ve been left in the shadows. I feel stupid, but I’m actually jealous of my baby.

More often new fathers are an afterthought and low on the totem pole when the baby arrives but new mothers also experience a change of status. It’s extremely difficult for mothers to voice any feelings other than undying love for their baby because to do so would look very unmotherly and appalling. Feelings of guilt and resentment build up and may lead to neglect or abuse of the infant. Find a support group for new mothers. There will be other mothers who will understand your feelings and may be able to help you through their own experiences.

Need relationship advice? Ask METRO's agony aunt Dinah Chong Watkins. E-mail your questions to metrobeijing@chinadaily.com.cn. Please give as many details about the situation as possible.