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Home / FAQ

Nuisance friends too quick to answer

Updated: 2011-06-08 (China Daily)
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When I go out with friends, often we'll be in the middle of a conversation when their cell phone goes off and they'll immediately answer the call or start texting. It drives me crazy.

When we were young, our parents would teach us when to say "please" and "thank you", unfortunately the fast pace of technology hasn't kept up with the established rules of civil society. While we know it's impolite to interrupt someone's conversation, many people don't see it that way when their cell phone rings. Yes, it's rude for someone to interrupt the conversation and reply to the caller without first excusing themselves. When it happens to you, let them finish their call and gently tell them you'd appreciate it if they'd get back to the caller later. Remember the golden rule: treat others the way you'd like to be treated.

My wedding is in three weeks but I'm having serious second thoughts. If I'm honest, I don't want to marry him but the invitations have already been sent out, receptions booked and deposits paid. I'm afraid I'll embarrass my family. What should I do?

If you've waited until the ceremony when the preacher says, "If anyone objects to this marriage, let them speak now or forever hold their peace", you've waited too long. First, talk to someone you trust and has your best interests in mind. This probably shouldn't be your fiancee, there's a conflict of interest. Weddings are a public statement of your lifetime commitment to one another; if this isn't how you feel, save everyone the misery that comes with a divorce. Better to be a runaway bride than end up a bitter divorcee.

My teenage son just sits at home and watches anime. We're from Britain and he goes to an international school in Beijing. He has very few friends and I'm worried he's becoming a recluse.

Parents of teens often wonder where to draw the battle lines. The fact is, once they become 18, they're legally on their own. Your control drops to near zero, unless you're still paying their bills. Use the time you have now. Use gradual steps to engage him, while seeing a family therapist can be a constructive first step.

Need relationship advice from METRO's agony aunt? Send questions to metrobeijing@chinadaily.com.cn.

(China Daily 06/08/2011 page)

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