The health check: a process nearly every non-Chinese person staying here for a protracted period must endure. A series of tests are done to rigorously assess your potential lifespan and to make certain your impending death won't take place on Chinese soil.

Well, that's exaggerating somewhat. Rumor has it that to fail the health check requires the distinct lack of a pulse, but that doesn't prevent past ailments from running through your mind and previous transgressions being recalled from the darkest recesses of memory as blood is drawn for testing.

Marching through the hallway among various rooms allows the tests to be completed swiftly, providing the place isn't teeming with people. The entire procedure is quite efficient.

A blood test, an X-ray and an electrocardiogram are among the six or so tests one must undergo, along with standard measurements of weight and vision.

The checkup's typical duration of 30 minutes suggests it is a minor inconvenience for those of us who wish to remain in Beijing for a long period. That is, until you realize just how horrendously far away from humanity the health center is!

The recent closure of the main branch within the reasonable confines of the city has meant that any of us who intend to work or study in the vibrant metropolis must undertake a mini-mission in the early hours of the morning (as the health center is only open a few hours).

The Beijing International Travel Health Center (Haidian Clinic) is indeed located, as suggested, in Haidian district. But another fair description would place it outside the 5th Ring Road and therefore quite the trek!

With mountains on the near horizon, you truly realize how far away from the city center you have come.

At least a 15-minute taxi ride from Xi'erqi on Line 13 of the subway, it's not the easiest of places to get to, even if you live in Haidian. For those foreigners who happen to reside on the east side of Beijing, the journey from Chaoyang district must be wholly troublesome.

If you take the travel, and then couple that with fasting before the checkup, it could hardly be considered the most convenient of processes. Some student groups are booked in for afternoon sessions - not something the average stomach would enjoy! Thankfully, it is a process that requires no repetition - the only conceivable benefit to completing the whole debacle, beyond the obvious step in the visa process.

Of course one shouldn't complain too much. Setting aside one morning to complete an official task isn't a total pain, but it defies common sense somewhat to have but one center in the whole of Beijing.

Regardless, this seems to be the future for now, so if you're looking to do a health check in Beijing, make sure to plan to take the day off, because you'll use most of the morning getting there and the rest of the day wherever you choose to sate your newfound hunger.