What's the buzz
Updated: 2012-02-20 08:07
(China Daily)
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As many as 69 percent of Chinese men have confidantes, while more than 60 percent of women say they have close male friends, a survey shows. What do you think of the phenomenon? Do you think married people should have confidantes of the opposite sex? China Daily mobile news readers share their views.
I think married men and women should keep their distance from each other. Confidantes are important, but married people should make his or her spouse their close friend. Why are people willing to open their heart to someone other than their own wife or husband? In my opinion, "close friends" may play an important role in China's high divorce rate.
AEROMELODY, Tianjin
As far as I am concerned, married people should have close friends of the opposite gender. The confidantes can understand how the married person thinks and find solutions that help better solve problems they might have in their marriage. Since their partner will know of the confidantes, there is little possibility for extramarital affairs.
XIAOYU, Shanghai
After one gets married, one should let one's spouse know of any friends of the opposite gender. As for close ones, one needs to keep a proper distance so the confidante does not become a lover.
ASPIRIN, Changsha, Hunan province
Married people should never have confidantes or close friends or overly intimate friends of the opposite gender. It is nonsense for people to defend themselves by claiming that they can better know their spouses with the help of these confidantes, since they should communicate with their life partner if they really love them. There can be no secrets between couples. An introduction of each other's friends before getting married is more favorable to a happy life after marriage.
RULER, Beijing
Married people should not have close friends of the opposite sex. The pressures of life and household chores deprive married couples of their original passion and leave them with boring monotony. The appearance of a confidante or close friend may bring about a sense of freshness as well as allure, which may eventually breed thoughts or moves that hurt their families. What married people should do is try to improve their delight in life and rediscover their lost passion and love.
A reader,Changchun, Jilin province
I think gender does not matter in friendship since all we want is understanding and support. People make friends with others because their minds are in harmony. One needs someone to confide in and share one's happiness and sorrow with even after getting married.
A reader,Yancheng, Jiangsu province
I am a single woman who has a close male friend, but we both know that we are friends only. As for my future husband, if he cannot accept this fact, I would choose to keep a distance with my male friend even though I know it may cost me a valuable friendship. After all, we always gain something and lose something in our life.
a reader, Shenyang, Liaoning province
(China Daily 02/20/2012 page9)