Tu Shiyou, a 38-year-old freelancer, recently sparked some major controversy when she set up a "virginity website" to promote the idea of "no sex before marriage". In her website, Tu, who is still single, not only shares her experience of keeping virginity, but also teaches readers the difference between a virgin and a non-virgin. She even uploaded a medical report on her website to certify her virginity. |
@Liyinhe Sociologist There are two reasons why premarital virginity has become a choice for minority: 1. The age when children hit puberty has changed from 15 or 16 to 13 or 14; 2. the legal age for marriage is 20 for girls 22 for boys, instead of around 15 to 16 as in the past. |
@Yashalong Scholar The claim that premarital sex does harm to women is totally groundless. Instead, it is unsafe sex that can do the damage, whether before or after marriage. Self-respect does not lie in the preservation of virginity. Instead, it means whether you have the courage to refuse to have sex when you don't feel like it or refuse to have sex that may bring harm to yourself. |
@Daijianyeweibo Professor at Central China Normal University I am not saying that men and women should both be indulgent in sex. However, if it comes to keeping virginity, it should be equally applied to men as well as women. A man who has multiple sexual partners is usually seen as romantic and "capable", but it's far from being true if it is a woman -- she will be called a "bitch". That's why I have always been disgusted by the so-called "moral principle" of "keeping your virginity". |
@Yangziyue Sina Weibo user It is undoubtely evil to view virginity as a commodity and force women to keep it before marriage. If both of the couple can see the preservation as a commitment to their future family, virginity can be the source of domestic happiness. On the other hand, everyone has the right to deal with their body, but they also have to pay the price for what they have done. After all, be a virgin or not isn't never the same. |
@Lixinzhao Sina Weibo user I suppose since we are free to be intemperate, of course Tu has her own right to hold her virginity. It is merely a matter of personal choice. However, Chinese education only promotes virginity but seldom teaches knowledge about safe sex. Can abstinence alone compensate for the lack of sex education, which is why we have so many cases of teenage abortions? It is much more practical to teach students how to use condoms than promoting the virtue of keeping virginity. |
@TENDERLOIN Sina Weibo user I agree with premarital virginity. There is a saying, "save your first kiss to your first love and save your first sex to your husband". Open-minded as Americans are, they finally conclude that premarital virginity leads to a happier marriage, so the Chinese tradition of keeping virginity before marriage must have its reason to exist, not to mention self-respect is a virtue. |
It is not the first discussion on premarital virginity, nor will it be the last one - in a fast-changing society like China. On another note, more debates like this show that the Chinese society is more tolerant of different ideas, and if anything, this is at least a healthy sign. |