The traditional reunion dinner to celebrate the New Year often threatens to become a "cold war" between Zhao Ying and her husband. The couple invariably fights over which set of parents gets to enjoy their company for the Spring Festival feast.

Zhao's parents-in-law live in Hebei province's countryside, where a deep-rooted custom dictates that the daughter-in-law should celebrate the New Year with the husband's family. But the homesick Zhao is in no mood to adhere to this, saying she hasn't been home in Hunan province in three years.

"We visit my husband's parents every one or two months. We spent the past two Spring Festivals, after we got married, with them. So this year, I want to stay with my parents," Zhao says.

The couple's dilemma is being shared increasingly by the nation's couples, where both partners come from only-child families. A joyful union with one set of parents often means a lonely festival night for the other.

Liu Lu and her husband, both Beijing natives, have decided to solve the problem by dashing between their two families.

"We will have lunch with my husband's parents and grandma and have the reunion dinner with my family. But then, we will return to my husband's home at midnight to eat dumplings with his siblings," Liu says. It is a custom in Northern China to eat dumplings at midnight, at the start of the New Year.

Fortunately for the couple, the two homes are a mere half-hour drive apart.

But for many other couples, celebrating the Spring Festival with the extended family involves long and exhausting journeying.

Before their daughter was born in 2007, Zhao Li and her husband, who work in Suzhou, Jiangsu province, would stay with her parents-in-law in Hebei for the Spring Festival eve. They would then go over to Zhao's parents in Taiyuan, Shanxi province, by train on the third day of the holidays.

"The holidays were more exhausting than working days," Zhao says.

This year, her parents-in-law will come to Suzhou for the Spring Festival, because her daughter is too young to undertake the long trip. "My husband is the only son, but I have an older sister. My parents are busy taking care of her daughter. At least, they will have some company during the festival.

"But I will miss them very much. Also, my daughter has long been taken care of by my mother-in-law. I want her to live with my parents for some time and foster the same attachment with them too."

According to an online poll by QQ.com, a popular Chinese portal, 40 percent of the more than 184,000 respondents say couples from only-child families should spend the Spring Festival with each set of parents, by taking turns. About 27 percent wish to have both sets of parents stay with them for a big family union.

Nearly 39 percent of those surveyed believe parents will support whatever decision their children take, while 36 percent say parents will complain to relatives if their children don't visit them.

Zhao Ying has finally managed to make peace with the husband. Her mother-in-law has agreed to her returning to Hunan.

"She says we can spend the next Spring Festival with her, since her 60th birthday will fall around the same time," says a relieved Zhao.