As Ellen wheeled her bike out the door, on her way to work, she stopped and asked, "Stu, why don't you ride a bike?"
Simple, because I'm terrified.
Reading Yi-Ling Liu's column on Aug 5 about the perils of riding a bike on car infested roads brought back all the painful memories of why I'm no longer a cyclist.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I've got a bike, and I ride it a lot. It's a static one, and I pound the virtual pavements every day.
I just won't pedal the roads.
About 12 years ago, I got wiped off my bike in Adelaide, and ended up sliding across the bonnet of a car. Of course, like any sensible young man, I merely picked myself up, and hobbled home.
It took a few days for me to admit that I'd actually fractured my collar bone, and that it hurt.
A lot.
After reconstructive surgery, I wasn't all that keen to get back in the saddle again, as visions of longer stays in hospital haunted me.
That's not to say I didn't try. When I first moved to Japan, I was dared to get on a bicycle again. Unfortunately, I lived on the side of a steep hill, with lots of hidden driveways, and it proved to be a one off journey - my nerves were shot in a very short space of time.
So when it came to riding a bike in Tianjin, I decided to give it a miss.
Frankly, being a pedestrian's dangerous enough for me. There are so many perils to avoid, just on a quick trip out for some vegetables for supper!
First I have to brave the crush at the gate to the market, cunningly constructed to allow only one person through at a time - which would be fine, if there was an entrance and an exit.
Then there's the crowd actually in the market. You must remember that I come from Australia, which might as well have a population of zero in comparison to China, so crowds and I are not on good terms.
I like a bit of personal space, and being wedged in to a small area with a lot of people doesn't make me feel comfortable.
Once I've actually done the shopping, there's still the wander home to be negotiated - and danger still lurks around every curve. Cars hurtle both ways down the one-way street. I'm still lost as to which is the correct direction for traffic to take.
With the recent spate of construction at Tianjin Medical University, there's also the added thrill of avoiding concrete trucks, and loose soil falling from passing lorries.
But I fear it's electric bikes that will be the death of me.
They glide silently down the street behind me, and it is only at the last minute when a horn toots that I know that they are there. How can something so quiet be so fast?
It's an almost uniquely Chinese mode of transport, too. In my travels, I've only seen a few in use, never in the quantities that race along the city streets here.
Whilst I applaud them for their lack of exhaust fumes, it's that very absence of a throaty petrochemical growl that makes them the efficient predators of pedestrians that they are!
Of course, I also have to run the usual gamut of pedal powered cyclists, both on the road and footpath, and avoid the various vehicles that seem to have been parked on a whim wherever the driver so fancied.
So, why don't I ride I bike?
Being on foot's challenge enough!
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