Sometimes giving thanks needs no words

Celebrating Thanksgiving in China

A variety of Thanksgiving gifts

Thanksgiving feast

On the other hand, Westerners, who come from more individualist societies, need to use language to forge relationships, says Caldwell-Harris in an e-mail. They constantly use words such as "I love you" and "thank you" to maintain interpersonal connectedness and reap its benefits, she says.

In experiments conducted in the United States, researchers from Harvard Business School and The Wharton School discovered that people who received thanks for their help felt higher levels of self-worth - and were more likely to help out again.

Among the Chinese, heightened self-worth comes from fulfilling their obligations to others and existing within a stable, reciprocal network of giving and receiving. "Positive health consequences will depend on doing these things, not from expressing gratitude either verbally or nonverbally," Caldwell-Harris says. "So when a Chinese feels she is not living up to the expectations of others, her mood and health suffer."

Friends usually reciprocate gifts or favors with the same, while children are expected to take care of parents in their old age. (Gift-giving has actually helped fuel China's massive luxury industry, with a quarter of purchases in 2012 going to buyers' personal and business connections.)

After being back in China for almost two years, Wang Wenbo has found herself saying thanks less often. "I still think that saying thank you is a good thing, but people react differently to it," she says. "If they don't like it, I adjust my behavior."

This means giving gifts instead - which are always welcome and a pleasure.

 

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