My wife and I read extensively on the subject and discussed the issue thoroughly before deciding which system to adopt for our kid daughter. We think the Chinese way of constant pressure and regimental study neglects the development of a child's persona and emotional intelligence. This is something we can subtly discern from the kindergarten-going Chinese children who play with our daughter.

The Western system, on the other hand, lays excessive emphasis on promoting individual development. As a result, adolescents and young adults in the West are indulgent and relatively irresponsible, and confuse self-gratification with personal expression.

Awareness of these dynamics led us to opt for a middle path. For example, we weaned her off the nappy at 2 years - later than in China, earlier than in the West - and we will put her in a kindergarten only when she is 3. My wife has been teaching her about Chinese filial sensibilities, and I have followed my wife's lead in instilling in her the distinct Chinese idea of a person's role in the community (even in simple things such as referring to friends as aunt or uncle) and society.

I have also been teaching her about the world around her in ways that my Chinese friends rarely do - I take her out on camping trips, teach her about wildlife, and farmers' traditions and way of life.

Given that the world is now a global village, perhaps it is better to teach our children using the best of the traditional and modern systems. And if that cannot be done under the existing exam-oriented education system, parents (and teachers) can at least lessen its impact on the individual development of children. Children should be allowed to dream their own dreams, not those of their parents.

The author is a freelance writer who specializes in culture, travel, and lifestyle.

(China Daily 05/09/2015 page5)