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A time to know what it means to be truly human

By M. Marko (China Daily)
Updated: 2008-05-27 07:39

It has happened - an earthquake and all its devastation on every level in a major event.

After seeing a photo of seven children in a school all huddled together and all dead, I knew I had to go.

So getting on a plane out to Chengdu I had no idea of exactly how to help. I got there and connected with the Chinese Red Cross.

So much devastation to see. No words can ever describe the site, the magnitude of it all. So much destruction, so many lives lost and in such horrible ways. More than the mind can take in. The tears would come and the tears would go, only to come again.

The mind trying to understand and comprehend the enormous loss that was once inconceivable but now was all too real.

I ended up in Anxian, and found a camp with no medical set-up yet, so we set it up there. About 5,000 displaced people from the area and the mountain villages. Our small team started treating those who were in need and there were many.

Not easy to do. Only instant noodles and canned meat to eat. Sleeping in a tent on the bare ground. Twenty hours a day to work. But it didn't matter what we out there to help had to endure; it can never compare with the suffering of the people trying to survive this major natural disaster.

The line of people seemed endless. People of all ages and with so many different injuries. Broken bones, dislocations, cuts big and small, infections , dehydration, malnutrition, as well as the health problems that some already had such as heart or respiratory problems.

We were short on food and water. No place for bathing, only an outdoor hole for the bathroom and all those who had lost so much. One man lost his mother, his father, his wife and his two children.

Thousands of cases of so much loss. Heartbreaking. Especially the children. All those in pain, mentally, physically and emotionally. In about every way imaginable. And seeking a way to survive. So in those few days there, we treated as many as possible, tried to get in much more supplies, set up water for washing hands with disinfectants.

Tried to get the children some entertainment and distraction from this horrible event that had been thrown on their once peaceful life. Treating person after person and at least saved three lives that would have been lost if we had not been there. So we only did as much as we could with what we had at the time. But we did manage to keep it all under control, and what's more, we did make some improvement for those people there.

Yes we were able to provide some help. But only thanks to the Chinese president and the premier and the massive military who gave their all in order to help those who needed them most.

President Hu Jintao has demonstrated his love and care of the people here with the heart of only one who could be so very compassionate. It is to them that I give the greatest thanks and respect.

Some people say I am a hero, but to me, I could never do enough.

As the shock slowly wears off, the realization of the true events will begin to sink in - into the minds and emotions and hearts of all those involved.

The efforts toward the real and lasting recovery must begin and must be followed up and sought after. This will require a tremendous effort from all those who can participate in this path of helping everyone involved to regain their life once again.

Imparting knowledge of what all this means in the form of educating them will be of great importance to help them to understand better their feelings. They will learn to make better sense of how and why they feel all that they do feel as well as what they will feel in the days and months to come.

Firstly, the focus of course must be in to stabilize their living conditions - to make some base for the normal functions of life.

A place to live, food to eat and some purposeful work in some way. As this is being put in place, then it will be even more needed that, while things are settling down in that way, all the emotional and mental states be even more addressed and the road to real complete recovery be encouraged and pursued.

For even as the "shock" begins to wear off, the mixed and often-buried emotions will start to manifest for many in a great number of ways.

They must learn about the "grief process" and what those usual steps mean. They will know it is natural for them to go through these "stages" and they will learn how it all works. They must learn that this is a "normal" reaction to better understand that there is "nothing wrong" with this process.

It is rather that if they do not have this, then there is something more wrong and must be dealt with.

It will be somewhat different for those who are younger from what it will be to the elderly. Different for those who lost close family members and for those who lost friends. For those who can better empathize with such an overwhelming and still climbing number of dead.

It will find many ways of manifesting in all the people involved. There will be anger, frustration, sadness and sorrow on many levels. Moreover, many will feel that life cannot possibly ever be the same again. And they will be right in many ways.

No, for some it "won't" be ever the same. However, in life, nothing ever really does stay exactly the same. Life is any way ever changing and in this case will change even more.

In time, yes, things will become better and to some degree will be more normal once again. Nevertheless, they must be made to understand that it "will" take a long time and that different people and situations will take different ways to help with this process.

While we are all the same, some things as individuals will be different. Just as with the culture here in China, other factors also involved may make things different from any other parts of the world.

As an example, here in China, the standard for normal expression of emotions that is more widely accepted is that many emotions are to be "hidden" and not talked about in public. It is a part of the general way of things here.

This however will make the recovery process more difficult in the long run. To be able to tap into those deeper emotions and to bring them to the surface will require more work and a longer process. So here more people will require a longer period of time to get over the shock. This must also be considered

There will be a need for hundreds of counselors and therapists and all this should be coordinated to make things as effective as possible.

As well as the victims of this tragic and devastating disaster, those who have worked and are still working for relief operations will also need extreme counseling and care after all this. As those efforts start to slow down , they too will need much help in dealing with all that they have seen and experienced in this.

All of those involved at whatever level will experience many possible side effects. Sleep disturbances, nightmares, flashbacks to the actual earthquake, the loss of loved ones and those close to them will create many kinds of mixed and sometimes confusing feelings.

Especially since the culture is more prone to not revealing those deeper emotions. People will experience sorrow, tears, and outbursts of anger, confusion and frustrations over sometimes the smallest things. Anything will be enough to "trigger" a wide array of emotions, which will be seen to have "no valid reason".

Nevertheless, this will actually be a normal response and will depend on individuals and personalities as well as on the general behavior of most humans.

All these people must be made to understand that much of all this will be actually a "normal and expected" response. That it is "okay" to feel these things. They will need to be encouraged to let these emotions and feelings come out. Yes, they will need to temper the feelings in a reasonable way as much as they can possibly do, but come they will time and again. It is as it should be.

We, looking in from the outside, must also be more tolerable and very patient and understanding. We cannot look at these actions with too much of a critical or judgmental eye. We must allow them "room" to negotiate the things they have inside and to allow them to express these in a way that gives vent to their feelings. This should be especially so with all the children involved.

They all must be encouraged to try to understand that while so many died, so many also survived. And that in this survival, there is a reason why they have survived. There is something in their life that they need to do and they should be encouraged to go and find out what purpose that is. That they, who seek these things, will also be occupied with a new and stronger purpose n their life. That they who continue will have the opportunity to be stronger and better than they once were.

The strength and courage to make changes in their own life and in the lives of others. To come together as a whole people and make a difference. That in this, they have a chance to show the "best" of humankind. To come together to help each other. If they look around, they may see all these who have suffered now share a common bond between them unlike any others around them. A chance to pull together and to become the "best" they can be.

In this, the sorrow and pain can be made into something much more than that. It can be made into something bright and shining that those who come after can follow to the betterment of the world.

To show the real "spirit" of what humans can be when they must. To show the world what it means to truly "survive". And more than just survive, to become more than we normally are.

We must make them understand that while this is horrible and devastating, we can turn this around by working together to show all people, what it really means to be humans.

The author is a psychiatrist at United Family Clinic in Wuxi

(China Daily 05/27/2008 page9)