On entering Bar No 9, we were pleasantly surprised by the antiquated telephones and radios set in gravel under a glass floor, and even more surprised by the Christmas tree complete with flashing lights on the wall! A group of people huddled round a table playing cards looked up in surprise with an expression that seemed to say: "You're not from round here are you."

Situated near the University for Traditional Chinese Medicine on the North Third Ring Road, Bar No 9 would probably have done better to have set up shop in "The League of Gentlemen's" twilight world of Royston Vasey. At first glance, this Hepingli quasi-shebeen seems promising, in the wrong kind of way. Round glass tables populate the main area surrounded by sixties style multi-coloured plastic chairs and drop lamps that provide a dim light. A Christmas tree hugs the wall, as Santa Claus cut outs look on cheerfully. A large television screen sits next to the stage that is home to a lonely set of drums.

However, all that glitters is not gold. When we asked if they had karaoke we were bluntly told "no", when we asked when they have live music we were informed: "If customers want a band, we call them and they come." We didn't ask and they didn't come. Sitting at the bar we surveyed dusty and empty bottles of wine and spirits on the shelves as the barmaid reeled off a list of beers. We opted for Tiger only to be told there wasn't anywe plumped for Qingdao. The Menu revealed that you could buy a bottle of Chateau Latour for 1,388 yuan, while cocktails started at 38 yuan and went into the hundreds. We were just about to peruse the food options before the menu was snatched away from us by a burly young man and placed just out of reach behind the bar.

An African man came in and ordered a beer, and then sat there smoking a cigarette with the air of a man who'd been there before and wasn't expecting too much. After being told I couldn't take any photographs, we decided to leave. The bill came to 45 yuan, we gave them 100 and were told there was no change and we'd have to wait. The barmaid resumed her card game and we twiddled our thumbs. Ten minutes later the change materialized and we scarpered.

No 9
Location:  Hepingli Dongjie, Chaoyang
Tel: not given.