Double trouble of twin girls in two cultures

By James Ritchie (China Daily)
Updated: 2009-09-08 11:06

I know it's inevitable they'll eventually start fighting over toys, and the older one will probably think she should win because she's the "big sister". Fortunately, I think I've figured out an appropriate response. I'll let their mother handle it Chinese way, which she'll do so as she does most of life's complexities.

To be fair, my wife has adapted to, and even embraced, American habits on certain points.

For example, as we prepared to take the girls on a trip to China during their early months, we figured they'd attract a lot of attention in public. And we knew that well-intentioned Chinese people are quicker than Americans to reach out to touch a cute baby.

But ours were born a few weeks premature, and we were afraid their immune systems wouldn't be up to the challenge. We agreed to try to keep strangers from holding or touching them.

The twins' mother performed admirably, even when she had to be rude. When one smiling young woman leaned forward to grab a twin, she was left with an armful of air - and a shocked expression on her face - as my wife took two quick steps back.

On the other hand, my wife doesn't buy into the American way of putting babies into their own room with a baby monitor and pushing them to sleep through the night early on. She figures that babies feel more secure sleeping in their parents' room, and that they should develop their sleep habits in their own time.

She may be right. But ours still wake in the middle of the night, and that makes it hard in a nuclear family where both parents work full-time.

And I've never been able to convince her that the twins should wear regular American pants instead of Chinese-style crotchless or cut-out ones. She and her mother have always sworn that these pants make diapers easier to change.

My attempts have probably been some of the funniest moments of raising twins in a two-culture house. And some of the messiest.

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