To my Chinese love

Jessica and her husband pose a photo in their apartmet. [Photo provided to chinadaily.com.cn]

2015 started off with a soft kiss at the stroke of midnight. Lying in bed, with my arm draped across you, wishing we both had the energy to stay up. Our late 20s spent working ourselves to the bone.

After taking the train 37 hours through the countryside of China, we finally arrived in your hometown for Spring Festival. Wearing a heavy winter jacket, I looked quite silly in the south. Guangdong was by no means hot, but a long-sleeved shirt would have been enough.

This was my second time visiting your hometown so I felt no sense of fear or nervousness. Your parents, grandparents, brother, sister, and cousins all treated me well. They were even so gracious as to give me a few red envelopes.

Going to the beach, helping you dig for oysters, farming shrimp, and helping prepare family meals made me feel so happy to be with you. Even with all the sand crunching in my boots, rubbing my skin raw, I could only feel happiness inside.

Through the mediocre Mandarin that I spoke to your parents, I was able to express my appreciation for their kindness and hospitality. Occasionally, you had to translate English into your hometown dialect so they could understand stories about my family in America. Your mother was so curious the whole time as to why my parents never got married. That was a funny conversation. Working in the big city, I never had time for these peaceful moments.

Your hometown, a common poor village of China, gave me a sense of home. Through all the stares and glances from the locals, I still walked by your side to the local pool hall with a smile on my face.

As Spring Festival passed, we returned to our apartment in Beijing. This, our fourth year together, was the most peaceful out of them all. As the year began to heat up, we grew. We began to sit down, drink tea, and have some meaningful life conversations.

Having no air conditioning and only relying on a few electric fans made some days unbearable. Sometimes YouDao(a popular online translation dictionary) was needed, but we were both happy to learn from each other.

I left for work and to visit family in the U.S. for two months. Even our good bye at the airport was quite uneventful. Four years and you still couldn't kiss me goodbye in public. As much as that stung, I still told you that I loved you and would call you when I arrived.

I would call you nearly every day. You’re a traditional man so maybe calling you every day seemed a little too romantic. Even my multiple "I love yous" couldn't get more than an "en" out of you. So, I cut back to calling you twice a week, at your request.

I kept myself occupied with the martial arts routines you recorded yourself performing so I could practice at home. Your lack of romance has always created a big rift between us. Through the tears and snot dripping down my nose, I've realized how to love differently. I dare not try to change you. We both just simply speak different love languages. I know how much you love me. 

When I returned from my journey, you began to cook lunch and dinner for me every day. As we'd sit there eating our ham sandwiches, two boiled eggs, and cups of soy milk for breakfast, you'd be running back and forth stirring the meat and vegetables. I'm a terrible cook so I would clean up afterwards before I left. The shared household duties improved us.

Every day, I would take the food to work so while others ate from nearby restaurants, I ate delicious dishes that were made with love. You would always make my favorites: noodles and stir-fried pork with garlic. You said it was to save money, but I like to think it was because you wanted me to be healthy.

This year has been a lot like our hiking trips to Bai Wang Mountain (located about three kilometers northwest of the Summer Palace in Beijing). We've had so many times together; full of ups and downs. We argued and made up a lot. We struggled together. You made me cry and then said sorry and you'll try to be better too many times for me to count. At first, it was only my love of wushu that kept us together. That is how we met, was it not? You were first my martial arts teacher, now I look at you as my life teacher. 

Many times I've pondered as to why you would be with someone like me. I've felt like a burden, but you continued to open your heart to me. This year you've proven how good of a man you are. I wish you knew this. I feel I can't tell you enough and hope you can understand this unspoken feeling. I work so hard, almost to the brink of exhaustion for us. We are equals in this relationship so I want to take care of you like you do me. 

You're right there to tell me to do more! "You can work more!" "You can exercise more! "You can read more books!" You always push me to better myself. Most others would encourage me to rest, however; you push me to the edge. Some days I want to forget you, but then all it takes is one look from your eyes to make me smile and forget my anger. 

This new year, we will start a new chapter in our lives. We will exchange our vows and say I do; becoming husband and wife in the eyes of the Chinese and American law. We have no house, no car, and some savings, yet, I feel I'm richer than all of China's elites because I have you. You made me a better person and as I leave 2015, the memories can never be forgotten.