An American finds love in China

Robert poses with Zhen in his engagement robe in a shop in Guilin, Guangxi Zhuang autonomous region. Provided by Robert McClymond

We spent the day walking around the center of Guilin, along the Li River and ended up at a department store where I bought her a pocket translator. It had a little stylus that Zhen could write Chinese characters with and I could use to type on a simulated keyboard. It worked fairly well. We wrote back and forth using the little electronic interpreter and laughed at the mistakes and each of us waited as patiently as we could to read what the other one wrote. Back and forth, finding out more stuff, silly stuff, serious stuff, likes and dislikes. We knew we were meant for each other. There was no mistake about that. She told me we could start planning an engagement party. I was in total agreement.

Not only am I taller than most Chinese I am also quite a bit fatter too. At some shops even the largest robes fit me so tightly that I looked like a gigantic bright blue sausage. But after many, many laughs and stares we finally found a robe that fit reasonably well. Zhen had no trouble finding gowns that fit her. Zhen and Willow invited all their friends and family. That night I had to write a letter of my love toward Zhen to be read aloud by myself in front of the whole gathering the next day. Zhen had to do the same. It is just one more thing I found out about a Chinese engagement but if I could do this then surely I could do anything else that might be required.

At last we got married. It couldn't have been a simpler wedding. In fact we just visited a government office with all the necessary papers and was granted a marriage license. One for me and one for her. We had a wedding celebration party at a restaurant the next day with all her friends and family again.

It's been over 5 years since my wife came to the USA and her English is good enough to carry on a conversation with my sister since my sister is patient with her. My wife can also speak English well enough to carry on a conversation with the sales girls at the department stores she likes to shop at.

Oh, and language barriers? What language barriers? Love is the international language.

Not once has our marriage ever been seriously in trouble. We know the most important thing, by far, is being faithful to one another. If we are true to each other and have nothing to hide then the rest is easy.

As long as both people are true to each other and do not try to trick each other than the rest is easy. Trust is the most important thing. If both people in a relationship can absolutely trust each other than all other problems are easily overcome as long as there is still love.

I'm not big on giving advice but I would say that if you don't like the culture of the person you are dating then you are likely to have problems with that person sooner or later. It is hard for people to change their fundamental ways. If you are expecting someone to change who they are, then you will probably be disappointed.

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