Pulse

Animal attraction versus girlfriend

(China Daily)
Updated: 2011-05-16 08:06

My girlfriend moved in with me about six months ago.I really want to get a pet because I love animals, but she refuses. It's already caused a few arguments. What can I do to change her mind?

Owning a pet is a daily responsibility, even something small like a turtle or fish. If your work takes you out of town on a regular basis, she will become the de facto caretaker. It's understandable if she feels her schedule is already too busy to accommodate another chore. Maybe it's not the pet, but the type of animal. If she's afraid of that species, maybe look at a different breed. If she is dead set against the idea, don't come home with a wiggling "surprise" hoping she'll accept it in time. The last thing you want is to be choosing one over the other.

The guy I'm seeing is really jealous and it's driving me crazy. I'm in my 20s and he's a little older than me. We're both from Beijing but I studied in Canada for four years. I have no intention of cheating on him, so how do I get him to relax?

Jealousy is a result of insecurity. Are you flirtatious by nature? Do you still keep up with your exes? Do you throw down ultimatums like yesterday's news? If you do, tone it down. On the other hand, he may have a issue with jealousy not rooted with you and which you can't cure. In some cases, extreme jealousy can lead to abusive behavior. If his actions cause a problem, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.

I'm sterile but I know my girlfriend wants children. I'm in my 40s and from Canada and she's in her 20s and from Southwest China. We've been together two years. I'm worried that if I tell her she'll leave me.

A solid relationship is based on trust and honesty. It's surprising you've been together for two years yet haven't shared this significant fact, unless it's a recent occurrence. By waiting longer you're only making the situation worse and giving her more the reason to leave. There are many other options when a couple is infertile, but the larger issue here is your apparent dishonesty and how it impacts your relationship.

Need relationship advice from METRO's agony aunt? Send questions to metrobeijing@chinadaily.com.cn. Please give as many details about yourself and the situation as possible. All information provided will be kept in the strictest confidence.

China Daily

(China Daily 05/16/2011)