Voices

Yellow Fever. [ yel'lo f'var]

By Dinah Chong Watkins (China Daily)
Updated: 2010-07-30 07:49

1. A viral infection transmitted by mosquitoes in South America and sub-Saharan Africa

2. An intense attraction for Asians by Caucasians

It's the Mount Qomolangma of obstacles, the nightmare on bar street, the reason why single white females cry in their half-price drinks on Ladies Night as they're passed over for the long black hair and short skirts of their Chinese sisters. As the bar chanteuse croons, "I've got the fever" the male expatriates sing lustily in reply ".yellow fever!"

"I'm a reasonably attractive, intelligent woman who, like these guys thought out-of-the-box and came to China. And we share the same native language. Why those girls over me?" laments a single white female. Why indeed. China has long been known as a single (sometimes married) white man's playground while at the same time being a single white woman's wasteland.

Las Vegas bookies give better odds on a nickel slot machine hitting the jackpot than a single white female meeting and marrying a single white male in the Middle Kingdom.

What is it then that attracts expatriate men to Chinese women? Is it their petite size, willingness to submit to their needs, eagerness to help their men succeed? Duh, yes.

Rightly or wrongly, Chinese women fully expect their husbands to be the provider and will take a backseat in order for them to be successful. Of course, for the male expatriates, dreams of lives like a bed-of-roses are abruptly pierced with thorny predicaments when meeting future in-laws. But differences aside, many such couples press ahead with the multiple bridal ceremonies and receptions. Chicken breast is on the wedding menu for guests in his hometown, while the head and feet are served up to friends and family in hers.

Now with the male-female ratio in China decidedly greater on the male side, why don't more expatriate women increase their dating pool and seek out local Chinese men?

Well even if the single white female is relatively conversant in Chinese, there's a physical obstacle. It's embarrassing when your boyfriend's jeans are smaller than your own. It may harken back to that "hunter-gatherer" thing, but generally, women want men who are tall enough to see over their foreheads (Tom Cruise excepted).

Chinese men, unlike Chinese women, are more risk-averse and less comfortable swimming in the uncharted seas of cross-cultural relationships. Chinese men are more tradition bound and especially in the age of the one-child family, bear a heavy filial duty to their parents. Sons are expected to take care of their parents, but in reality it's the wife's duty to serve the in-laws. And Po po and Gong gong are none too happy when laowai girlfriend plans to kidnap their son to Phuket for Spring Festival instead of staying at home and rolling jiaozi with them. Yes, parents can be a buzz kill.

And true or not (but mostly true), expatriate women carry the reputation for being very vocal about what they think and want. Few are the Chinese men who will put up with losing face over inadvertent statements made by their expatriate girlfriends. So unless the single white female is fluent in Chinese and understands the culture, a Chinese man will be reluctant to start something he knows will end badly.

With all these advantages to Chinese women, what's a single white female to do? There's fading hope in quasi-social networking cocktails or maybe another awkward evening matched up with the only other single at your friend's dinner party or worst yet, waking up in someone's hand-me-down IKEA bed in a fourth floor walk-up after a mind-numbing night of vodka shots at the local pub.

Yes girlfriend, if China will be your life, then go native; if not then, better luck back on your home turf. Match.com is waiting.