Focus

A victim talks about unwanted sexual advances

By Wang Wen (China Daily)
Updated: 2010-06-29 09:43

Zhang Lin (not his real name) says he was the victim of sexual harassment, an often taboo topic that is rarely discussed when it happens to women in China and kept virtually silent when it happens to men. Breaking the silence, Zhang has come forward to say it happened to him.

After joining a company in 2008, Zhang said his 40-year-old boss starting coming on to him. The harassment continued for six months until Zhang could no longer withstand it and left. The 25-year-old returned to his hometown in Heilongjiang province for a while. A few months ago, he came back to Beijing to look for a new job. Still visibly confused about his experience, Zhang sat down with METRO to discuss what happened and how he is trying to move forward.

Q: When did the sexual harassment begin?

A: It was in December 2008, two months after I joined the company. I had been working as an intern for three months after graduating from college in Beijing. A friend introduced me to the website company to edit videos there.

The company is small and is owned by a middle-aged single man. I felt fortunate in the beginning because I could learn a lot from him. Yet, I noticed he often told me how much money he had and showed me pictures of handsome men. I thought it was strange that a boss would talk about these things with male employees, but I still did not consider it sexual harassment. Then, one day in December, he asked me to his office to discuss my work. When he showed me his computer screen, I felt him slightly touching my bottom. I stood there like a stone. I did not know what to do.

I thought maybe it was some sort of misunderstanding. Maybe he just wanted to show he is friendly. Even maybe my feelings were wrong. Maybe he was not doing anything inappropriate. He continued to talk about my work, and then I felt his hand leaving. After another 10 minutes, I left his office.

Q: Did the harassment continue? And when did you realize it was sexual harassment?

A: I tried my best to ignore it and explain to myself that it was a misunderstanding, definitely. However the harassment continued and increasingly became worse. He asked me to his office almost every day, and sometimes he came to my desk to talk to me. During our conversations, he touched my body, pretending not to realize it. He even asked my attitudes about homosexuality and being kept as a "fancy man." That is when I finally acknowledged what was happening was wrong, that it was harassment.

Q: What was your response when you realized it was sexual harassment?

A: I felt disgusted as soon as I knew it was certainly sexual harassment. Especially when the man tried to attract me with his money, I felt very humiliated. But I think the whole thing is still a little funny - that a successful businessmen wanted me to be his lover. I thought that only happened to beautiful women.

Q: Did you tell your friends, relatives or colleagues about it?

A: Yes, I told some friends but no relatives or colleagues. At that time, I did not want to lose the job. If my colleagues knew, I could not work there anymore, and there could have been rumors in the company that I was having a relationship with my boss. I also did not want my relatives to worry about me, so I only told them my job was good.

I told some close friends, but I did not hope to get help from them. I thought I could deal with it. We just thought it was something funny to talk about.

Q: Have you considered suing him?

A: Definitely no. At the time, I still wanted to work for him because I thought I could handle it. If I refuse him, I thought he would not continue to harass me. After all, I am a man, and it is not a big thing.

Q: How has this impacted your life?

A: Frankly speaking, I was bothered then because he often asked me to his office. But since he never directly asked me to be his lover, I could only hint to him that I did not want to do those things.

Q: How did you deal with the thing?

A: I figured out ways to avoid him and gave him hints. When I refused to go to his office several times, he stopped talking to me for a month. Yet he did not give up and still tried to flirt with me. Because I refused his physical come-ons, he only kept the harassment to words.

I quit in April last year, mainly because my work there was only editing video, and I was tired of the job. I finally got rid of him.

Q: What would you do if this happened again?

A: I don't think I will encounter this again in the future. I am not that unlucky. But if I do face sexual harassment from a male, I will reject it strongly and hope the problem will be resolved.

CHINA DAILY