Focus
Tying the knot in virtual world
By Zhao Yanrong (China Daily)
Updated: 2010-04-28 07:51
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Millions of people in China are believed to have web relationships that may threaten real-life partnerships
Paladin has just been divorced - although he's never even met his wife, Lily, in the four months he's been married to her.
In fact, he's seen her only once, and that was in a video chat, the night she decided to dump him.
Paladin and Lily are among millions of people throughout China whose marriages have been registered, but only on a cyberspace marriage website.
The website, 94ta.com, is one of at least 100 in China that offers people the chance to pair up online.
Participants first register with the website, then seek a partner there. And if a marriage proposal is accepted, the couple can move into an online apartment together.
Most don't charge anything to register or to get "married" but participants usually have to purchase credits in order to buy things such as flowers, gifts and even groceries.
Paladin, 33, a Beijinger who won't give his real name, said he feels appreciated by women online, but "can't get any in real life".
His last real-life date was more than two years ago.
One reason for his success online is that he can jazz up his history: In real life, Paladin has only a high school diploma but online, he describes himself as a well-educated person.
He has written many poems and prose, and if a woman shows any interest in him, he passes them his writings.
"On the website, I'm capable and attractive," said Paladin, who would not tell METRO where he's working or where he lives in real life.
"My online life is not related to my real life.
"As I can't seem to meet my family's expectations and I can't get what I want from a girl, I escape to the fictitious web world."
Paladin had been registered with 94ta for six months before he met Lily.
Soon after, he proposed and they began to "live together" in an apartment on the website.
They do almost everything normal couples normally do, such as watering their garden and going shopping. But they do it only in virtual reality.
When Zhao wanted to develop the relationship into a real one, Lily called it quits and clicked a button to end the relationship.
"I don't know why she left. We had a video chat online, but she dumped me," Paladin said.
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Lily, a 35-year-old married woman from Hunan province, said: "My husband is my first love, and I still love him."
Her husband runs a small business in Changde, Hunan province, and they have an eight-year-old son who is in primary school.
"I've been married for almost 10 years and I feel that married life is a bit dull," she said.
Lily's husband often works late and she felt she was getting less attention from him.
"I played the online marriage game, because I wanted to be cared for and cherished again," she said.
Lily would turn to do things with Paladin in the middle of night, when her husband was asleep.
However, when Paladin wanted to be serious, she got scared and broke it off.
"I still love my husband, I don't want the fictitious relationship to destroy my real life," she said.
"I chose to end it before it went too far."
