Focus

Keeping love hidden from 9 to 5

By Wang Wen (China Daily)
Updated: 2010-04-21 07:55

Antoine Li, and his girlfriend, Sophia Zhang, wait to catch the subway at Wudaokou station, pretending they are not in love. The couple was happy and visibly affectionate at their home just a half hour ago but they work in a nearby Internet company and don't want their coworkers, who might see them at the station, to know about their three-month-old relationship.

"The trip from our home to the company feels like a trip from happiness to sadness every day," the 24-year-old Li said.

"I think that our colleagues and my boss would worry about us focusing on each other rather than on work if we let people know about our relationship," said Li. "Some of our coworkers might feel uncomfortable and I do not want to adversely affect my colleagues."

The 23-year-old Zhang, who works in a different department than Li, said she worries their relationship will become a topic of gossip at work if they tell other people..

"They will talk about us behind our backs, which will probably upset me," she said.

But the couple also say they are sick of hiding their feeling toward each other at the office.

"I feel like a spy - at first it was kind of exciting, but I'm tired of it now," said Zhang.

But Li said they certainly won't let the cat out of the bag any time soon.

"It would be strange if we just kind of announced that we are dating, it would seems too formal and it is not suitable in terms of the Chinese concept of implied emotion, " Li said.

But Li said he is curious to know whether or not his coworkers have any suspicions about their relationship, since the two find it difficult to act normally around each other in the office.

Zhang said she can't help laughing and feeling embarrassed when their paths cross at work.

"The less overlap we have in our roles at work the better since I sometimes get confused about whether to treat him as a boyfriend or a colleague," she said.

But if push comes to shove, love takes priority over work, say the couple.

"I would not give up a serious relationship because of the company, after all I won't work here forever," he said.

A secret office relationship does have advantages since the pair get to spend more time together than most couples, even if most of that extra time is as colleagues rather than lovers, they say.

The two, who both started working at the company last summer after they graduated from university, say they have developed a better understanding of each other in a shorter time than most couples.

"We comfort each other effectively because we share many of the same problems at work," Li said.

Deciding not to start an office relationship would have made it difficult for either of them to find a boyfriend or girlfriend, since their heavy workloads means their social networks are limited and they have little free time.

The couple says they've heard that starting office relationships is forbidden at their company but neither of them have seen any formal, written regulations on the topic. And there are several long-term couples, including some married ones, at the company.

"So the company kind of consents to office relationships through its silence on the subject," said Li.