Voices
In dating game, Asian men rate as considerate
(China Daily)
Updated: 2010-04-12 08:22
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Aggressive tack works
It has nothing to do with how the media portray East Asian men. I'm Chinese and have dated numerous Western women who are taller than me in the US. It's all about being aggressive, which East Asian men are not compared with Western men. It's just how East Asian men are built. They are more aware of how considerate and respectful they are to others, whereas Western men don't think about these things as much.
In the dating world, it's less about what she thinks about you than it is just going for it, always believing that she likes you ... which most of the time is true. Anyone can change, just like I learned to be more aggressive if I wanted to succeed here in America.
Portrayals by the media do play an important part. They feed into the minds of people, influencing how they regard other peoples. That is an unfortunate fact of life, despite what any individual might or might not experience.
Education
Challenges for black women
Thanks for shedding light on this. I want to ask the author if she's spoken to any black women or any of African descent in Beijing to ask what their experiences have been. I'm assuming if it's so hard for white girls to date, black girls and those of other non-Caucasian ethnicities must fare even worse in dating Chinese men. I'm also curious about their interactions with Chinese people in general.
A female friend who went to work in Japan and who happens to be black told me she felt invisible and even felt people were afraid of her. When she'd sit at a table to eat, people avoided the table. It was difficult for her to find friendships even though she's very outgoing and culturally sensitive. In the dating department she had no luck at all. I should add she is intelligent and stunning, a head-turner. But, of course, cultural beauty standards are different from place to place.
Orly
Improving fortunes
I have a much better chance to get positive responses from Asian girls than white (mostly American) girls, so after my break with my ex and few negative responses from white females, I went back to Asian girls. I am Chinese, born in China.
Schoolheike
Laziness plays a role
What these women need to understand is that men always take the path of least resistance. That is also why we leave the seat up. Get on the path of least resistance or get used to sleeping alone.
Laowai
The white wizard of China
Imagine you have a white beard and it is the only one in the city. After five years my friends don't see it any more, but it must be cut short, otherwise my wife gets the scissors. Traveling around in China is another story.
Rony Coekaerts
What it means to be human
Quite an experience! As you said, people do want what they don't have. That's the nature of humanity.
Eric
Alien permit for bearded man
I agree with the writer that often in China they look at you as though you have come from another planet. I have been sporting one since 1972 and been in China since 2008.
Mathew
Agree with the students
It's interesting. If I were the writer's student, I would do the same thing your students did. Anyway, I hope you enjoy your life in China; good luck to you and your beard.
Stefanie
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