Voices
Intercultural relationships here to stay
By Angel Du (China Daily)
Updated: 2010-03-17 07:56
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Six years ago when I was in college, I showed my American teacher around the campus and my friend asked me: "Why were you walking around
with that American guy? Other classmates are gossiping about you."
Back in the 1980s, the situation was very much the same.
"When we went out to dine, we had to walk with a one-meter distance between us and pretended we didn't know each other because people would think I was weird if I walked with him", said Shen Danping, a Chinese star who married a German national in 1984.
Nowadays though it seems people are a little more tolerant of mixed couples.
People don't stare at them in the streets or subways now - which is progress. However, the suspicions never seem to end.
Many people still believe in the magic power of a visa or green card.
They think Chinese women are desperate to trade themselves for the chance to live in the US.
There should be less animosity and insults about foreigners dating Chinese women because it is bound to happen as more and more foreign men flock to China to work or study.
But, when you search Google.com or Baidu.com about "cross-country relationships", the results are mostly sarcastic comments on the sexual needs of these mixed couples.
The intolerance might be less overt but the Internet allows discrimination to be more vicious because of its distancing and veil of anonymity.
Maybe some Chinese men feel their male ego is offended because their countrywomen are attracted to foreigners instead of them.
"There is now one more single Chinese man in the world", my friend said when he learned one of our common friends was dating an American.
However, it is also their adherence to old-fashioned ideas of what a woman can be, that contribute to the issue of some Chinese women dating other nationalities.
No doubt some women dating foreigners are influenced by an internalized cultural worship, but not all of them.
And at the end of the day, everybody's personal choices should be respected if they are not against the law or public moral code.
My friends won't stop me from making close friends with foreigners, but the gossip and bigotry won't end until Chinese attitudes about cross-country relationships become more mature and rational.
