Making umbrellas manly is simple: Cast a chivalrous shadow
During the week that I observed umbrella use's relationship to gender, I noticed an elderly man who carried a parasol.
The 61-year-old described the notion that an umbrella is feminine as "nonsense". "Who decided they're only for women?" he asked.
"Why not use one if you want to protect yourself from the heat. Would you rather be seen as a sissy when you carry one or as silly when you get sunstroke or heat rash?"
I identify with his logic. My conclusion is that it's sexist to define parasols as detractors of masculinity.
But my personal outlook aside, I still hope to deflect odd looks as much as UV rays.
One day, I saw a picture of a man holding an umbrella on the street. He was holding it for a woman.
The scene looked natural and nice. Nobody would have looked at the guy as if he were ladylike. Rather, his umbrella use made him seem like a gentleman.
From the next day on, I'd carry my women friends' umbrellas for them during dinners or outings. This proved a perfect solution to my situation.
The best was when one of my female pals smiled sweetly and said: "Thank you, gent!"
I responded: "You're welcome, my lady."
What I really meant was, simply: "Thank you, actually."
So, men can carry umbrellas without fear of being seen as girlie. All they need are, well, girls. The happily attached have a ready made excuse. And single guys have another reason to ask women out. That makes the shade cast by umbrellas brandished by men cool, in every sense of the word.
Related: Feeling the heat