(Getty)

James Milner, England

Milner often gets made fun of for being supremely bland. There's even a very popular "Boring James Milner" parody Twitter account. The real James Milnerclaims to be on the hunt for the person behind this account, but this obviously is just a cover. He's actually been carefully cultivating this image for years, biding his time until he shows up for a match wearing an anthem jacket made of ears and does things with the ball that make the Brazilians look like baby giraffes trying to stand for the first time. He will make Salvador Dali seem unimaginative and square. You have been warned.

詹姆斯·米尔纳（James Milner），英格兰

米尔纳经常因为自己超级沉闷而被取笑，甚至有个很受欢迎的，专讲“无聊的詹姆斯·米尔纳”段子的虚假推特账号，米尔纳宣称自己正在追踪这个号码的真实身份，但这只是一个笑谈罢了。实际上，米尔纳多年来一直用心营造这一形象，在上场穿上球衣之前一直厚积薄发，并且他很遵从教练，在场上用足球让巴西人看起来如刚出生试图站立的小长颈鹿般柔弱。他会让（西班牙著名超现实主义画家）萨尔瓦多·达利（Salvador Dali）看起来缺乏想象力且墨守成规。做好思想准备吧。