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Annual quandary for one-child families
( 2004-02-02 16:55) (Shenzhen Daily)

Spring Festival is especially valued as the traditional time for family reunion.

As more of the first ¡°only child¡± generation in China grow up and marry, they encounter the dilemma of whose parents they should stay with for the reunion festival.

We take turns to spend Spring Festival in our parents¡¯ home. As my wife and I are both the only child of the family, I think it¡¯s pretty fair to go in turn. But when we stay at the other¡¯s family, we surely miss our own parents, as they must have a cold holiday.

I understand this is not just my family¡¯s problem. One-child families are common in China due to the national policy on family planning. In the past, parents had more than one child and even if one or two children were not able to come home for the holiday, there were always some to stay with them.

I think mutual understanding is important. By that I mean the parents¡¯ understanding of the children and the understanding between husband and wife. As long as there is understanding and compromise, every problem can be solved.

I go to my parents¡¯ home for Spring Festival every year since I am the only daughter and I will continue to do so in future. I won¡¯t consider going to my husband¡¯s hometown for the Spring Festival because my parents would feel very lonely without me.

I do not feel too bad to be away from my husband in the space of Spring Festival since we stay together for the whole year. I only stay with my mum for a few days. We have no disagreement on that.

I have friends who are the only child of their respective families. Some of them rush to the two families in two different places during the seven days. It would be too troublesome.

Spring Festival is an important holiday for Chinese, and is especially meaningful for the older generation. Many young people choose to leave the city in which they grew up for their career development. They cannot stay with their parents in normal times so filial children always want to stay with their parents at least once a year to make up for the long-term absence.

I think it is fair for those of one-child families to take turns to visit their respective parents. The old should adapt to reality and learn to have their own life and fun, not depending too much on the children. I also believe the children can find time to be with their parents at other times, like the May Day holiday or the National Day holiday. But I don¡¯t like the idea of young couple going to see one¡¯s own parents.

We didn¡¯t have these worries and went traveling in Fujian Province this Spring Festival. Back in my country France, Christmas Day is for the family gathering. People also travel to stay with their families. But usually it¡¯s the grandparents who do the traveling because the festival is more children-oriented.

Nobody would think it a trouble for the grandparents to fly to their children¡¯s home. I hate to say it, but yes, we French have more regard for children than for the older generation.

It doesn¡¯t matter which of their children they visit. They may visit one this Christmas, and the other the next year. It really doesn¡¯t matter. Usually the siblings also will visit each other.


 
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