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Losing doesn't make you a loser
( 2003-12-15 11:38) (straitstimes.com)

Now, before anyone gets excited, I mean I was beaten in a sporting contest by a female and, after the crying had stopped, it got me thinking about how a situation like this might affect things between men and women.

I like to think of myself as being vaguely athletic.

I've enjoyed different sports like swimming, cycling, the triathlon, the modern pentathlon and, most currently, fencing.

It was in the latter sport that I got beaten by a girl.

Granted she was a very good fencer, being a member of the Chinese national fencing team, about 1.83m tall, tough as nails and pretty sneaky too.

But still.

I guess some residual machismo in me that survived the persistent pressures to be sensitive and New Age left me feeling a little aggrieved.

After all, I was bigger, stronger and had been fencing for about the same number of years as she had.

But it definitely wasn't the first time I'd been beaten by a girl.

There were faster female swimmers training with me when I started swimming at the age of five.

And there were faster female runners in triathlons who would occasionally catch up with me on the run portion of a race.

In the pentathlon - which consists of swimming, running, shooting, fencing and horse show-jumping - there were better shooters and horse-riders of the fairer sex.

Heck, I was recently beaten by a female colleague at bowling too.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have anything against strong women.

I was brought up single-handedly by my mother for most of my life, and she remains a strong and wise influence.

I have always respected strong women who have moved beyond tradition and stereotype to achieve more than what society says they can, and I believe this is an admirable trait for anyone to have, be they male or female.

The sporting arena itself has long since lost its status as an all-male domain, with female uber-athletes making waves.

In its current issue, American sports and adventure magazine Outside pays homage to '25 Sports and Adventure Goddesses Who Rule'. The list recognises triathletes, round-the-world sailors, mountain climbers and Olympic swimmers.

Women athletes have made great strides in the past century when you consider how it wasn't that long ago that the Olympics only allowed men to compete in long-distance running events as these were considered too tough for women.

Today, we look up to stars like tennis players Serena and Venus Williams, golfer Annika Sorenstam and Singapore's own table-tennis heroines Jing Junhong and Li Jiawei.

These athletes serve as inspiration to millions of young women who dream of experiencing the beauty and power of sports.

But what is a guy to do when he gets beaten by a woman? Especially if she is not some Amazonian behemoth with steroid-induced acne and more facial hair than us but actually attractive?

I must admit that I've always found toned muscles and lithe, athletic female forms alluring.

But would a pummelling at the hands of such a girl dash any chances I might have with her for action of a more romantic kind?

And if she beats me, should I slink away in shame? Or is it still possible to salvage a dignified relationship?

After speaking to a few female athletes who, at the peak of their game, would have given most guys a run for their money, I was pleasantly encouraged that all might not be lost should I actually lose.

My friend Joo Lee, 24, a former top schoolgirl sprinter, said that whether or not she beats a guy at sports is not crucial. And she should know.

As a teenager, the times she ran for the 100m sprint would have qualified her for the boys finals at that time.

'Sport is just one aspect of life. I would hope that whatever I find attractive and of value in a person encompasses more than just how he performs in sports,' she said.

This view was shared by Cheryl, another friend who holds two national swimming records and was a top swimmer in her teens.

'Personally, beating a guy may give me a boost in terms of confidence, but it wouldn't change my impression of him as a person,' said Cheryl, 24, who has since developed a passion for surfing.

'I look for other factors such as whether or not we share interests and can interact.'

I wasn't sure if they were just trying to make me feel better, but a casual poll of male friends revealed that not too many of them seemed to be bothered by the prospect of losing a sporting competition to a woman.

A former male colleague pointed out: 'It shouldn't be an issue unless we lose to them at everything, because then that would make us losers and that's never attractive.'

So maybe losing to a girl isn't that big a deal at all.

In fact, Cheryl said that as a competitive person, beating someone, especially a guy, always brings a smile to her face.

And making a girl smile, I suppose, is never a bad thing.

So if any girl out there wants to beat me at sports, I'm game - as long as she doesn't have more facial hair than I do.

 
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