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Love at first website
( 2003-09-10 13:40) (Beijing Weekend)

Internet dating offers convenience and curiosity to youngsters. Qi Mei, a 23-year-old secretary from South China's Hunan Province, felt she had met the person of her dreams when she met a man in an online chatroom who wrote poems for her.

After spending half a year chatting with the man online, she decided to travel to another city to meet him.

But to her surprise, she found the man to be over 50 years old. The poems he wrote for her were copied from magazines.

Stories abound in the Chinese media about how young people are disappointed when they date their online lovers.

"It is relatively easy for people to learn the qualities of their partners online, such as a sense of humour," explained Liu Dan, a psychological counsellor at a university in Beijing.

"But people tend to magnify these qualities and assume other ones to form an untrue impression."

Internet dating has become a popular way for young Chinese people to meet the opposite sex.

Xiao Wang, a student at Beijing Second Foreign Language University, said all 24 students in her class chat on the Internet and there is seldom anyone in the university who doesn't. Many would date their online chatting partners.

In a survey conducted by the China Internet Network Information Centre earlier this year, 14.3 per cent said making friends was why they chatted online.

In another investigation conducted in Tianjin among 1,000 people who chatted online, 20 per cent dated their online friends.
The majority of China's 58 million people who surf the Internet are under 35 years old and unmarried.

"Young people, especially students, are gradually shedding parental control," analyzed Liu Dan. "The Internet serves that purpose. They decide who they want to meet."

It is also perceived as "safe" because they can keep their identity a secret.
"People of this age are curious about love and emotion," said Liu. "They need the experience of going along with the opposite sex."

The tools people use for online chat include QQ, ICQ, Messenger, BBS, online chatrooms and Netmeeting.

QQ is a Chinese counterpart of ICQ. More than 20 million users use it to chat online every day, sending a billion messages, according to the Tencent Company.
In addition to sending messages online, QQ can also be linked to a microphone or with a web camera for audio and video chat.

Fast and convenient, these online chatting tools provide young people with an ideal way to meet people.

Liu said it was good for young people to date their online partners.

In present-day China, most young people are single children whose parents take special care of their welfare.

As a result, many young people stay at home during most of their spare time.
Internet chatting provides them with a way to communicate and make friends.

If they manage to date after chatting, it helps them come back to reality.
It also broadens young people's chances of finding an ideal lover.

But some young people might become addicted to their virtual life online and become an outcast in real life.

"If so, their ability to adapt to society, endure and compromise when facing difficulties in life will decline," said the expert.

She said online chat should be a tool in life, not a purpose.

But many people find online chatting to be boring and idle because people often linger on the same subjects.

One online correspondent stated: "People always start with boring questions such as where you are and what you do. They make me feel as if I'm being cross-examined."
Many people are aggressive and rude in online chatrooms.

Xiao Wang added: "I think if it feels good to chat online, I'd keep it that way. There is not much sense in spoiling it by meeting in real life."

CNNIC found 53.4 per cent use the Net to keep in contact with others.

But the Tianjin survey revealed 8.99 per cent of boys and 12.96 per cent of girls would definitely not date an online chat partner.

 
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