For those who can't make a decision, more on the menu
By Wu Chen (China Daily)
Updated: 2006-08-25 06:16

Hu Liu blushed when a young man came up to ask for her phone number.

Dressed in a Chinese gown, with delicate makeup, Hu sat quietly in her chair, a little out of place in the bustling atmosphere inside the hall.


A couple play a game during a group dating event held in Hangzhou, capital of Zhejiang Province, last month. [China Daily]


She timidly answered the man's questions. Beside her at the same table, a young woman was animatedly discussing dinner plans for that evening with a man.

Hu, 26, an introverted single Beijinger and taking part for the first time in a group dating session with 699 people available for marriage, was not quite accustomed to the event.

Hu, a budget accountant with the China State Construction Engineering Corporation, is obviously not a social animal. "I am at the age to seriously think of marriage," she said, "but it's hard for me to meet and get to know guys."

There are few young men in her company and she stays home in her spare time.

She has seen several guys introduced by her colleagues, but they never met again after the first date.

"People always have a certain purpose in one-to-one dating," Hu said. "If they find the person is not their type, they won't waste any time."

That's why she tried the group dating session held by the Beijing Municipal Women's Federation.

"I am less nervous sitting among hundreds of people," Hu said. "I like the easy atmosphere."

The activity, held over weekends, is the biggest the federation has ever organized, but it pales compared with some others.

On April 22, 12,658 people took part in a group date in Ningbo of Zheijiang, and nearly 10,000 showed up for one in Shanghai on May 20.

The agencies charge each participant 10-150 yuan (US$1.25-US$18.75) for entrance tickets to parks, food and drink, and other expenses including files on each participant.

"We don't make money out of the participants, but from sponsorship from studios, hotels and marriage service companies," said Xu Xiaoming, organizer of a 10,000-people dating event in Nanjing, the capital of Jiangsu Province.

Xu said that companies sponsoring the group dates were aiming at potential customers for their products and services.

Wu Xiuping, former vice-chairman of the women's federation, said more than 300 couples have tied the knot since the federation began to organize such activities three years ago.

The great popularity of group dating is no surprise since there are nearly 1 million single, young and available urban residents in Beijing and Shanghai, most of whom are well-educated, white-collar workers.

"Frequently working overtime under pressure has isolated young people in the metropolises, leaving them no time to make friends and communicate with the world outside their companies," Wu said.

In the activity Hu took part in, participants were divided into 41 teams. In each team, everyone had one minute to stand up and introduce themselves to the others, and some of them were asked by the compere to sing a song or tell a story to break the ice. Then all 700 people could ask for a phone number. Hu had three requests.

Hu hadn't decided who was her Mr Right, but she said her ideal other half is a man who's not afraid to share his feelings with her.

Another female participant was less fortunate than Hu.

Ren Qun, a 28-year-old civil servant, who holds a master's degree in business administration, had quit early because she wasn't interested in the men at her table. Nevertheless, Ren believes the activity is a "good and safe way to make friends," compared with gatherings arranged by some private dating agencies.

Ren had tried some "private dating clubs" where dozens of singles meet each weekend to discuss certain topics together.

"People can get a clearer impression of each other at those clubs," Ren said. "However, it's not easy to know the real background of the participants."

That's also why she doesn't want to look for a boyfriend on the Internet.

Ren said she trusted the activities organized by institutions like the women's federation as the organizers check the participants' resumes with their ID card numbers and other documents to verify their identities and backgrounds.

"I'll ask my single female friends to come together next time," Ren said.

Wu Xiuping said it seems group dating is especially popular with women.

"Women have to study and work harder to succeed in society; therefore, many girls have missed the best time for husband hunting," Wu said, adding that about 60 per cent of the registered members of the organization's dating activities were female.

A survey of 4,000 single middle class women found 57 per cent hoped to marry before 30, and only 5 per cent preferred to stay single. Two-thirds cited difficulties of finding an appropriate man, and most said they felt lonely.

Hu said she often feels bored during the weekends when there is nothing to do but watch TV or surf the Internet at home.

"I'm afraid I'll forget how to talk to people if I do that much more," Hu said, forcing a smile.

Although not optimistic about its success rate, she expects group dating to breathe fresh air into her life.

"At least," she said, "I can make some female friends who are like me."

(China Daily 08/25/2006 page1)